Why Showing Your Partner Support Even When You Don’t Want to Be Supportive?
Believing in Your Spouse’s Success May Save You a Visit to a Marriage Therapist
People like to be supported in what they do and encouraged to try new things even if they are not 100% certain in their success. Without the support of a close friend or family member, an individual is likely to give up on his ideas and continue living without doing any experiments. Sooner or later that can affect his mental stability and he may address his anger towards the person who was non-supportive.
As a marriage therapist in San Francisco, CA, I have seen way too many examples of similar situations. Here are some hypothetical situations that illustrate this:
- People who want to change a job they are miserable at for a job that will make them happier but won’t be well-paid. If you stop your partner from trying something new, his/her unhappiness from work will later reflect on you, and you will be blamed for the missed opportunity.
- People who want to travel for an exchange program but their spouse does not want to let them go away for a few months. If you believe that you will be with this person until the rest of your life, then why not giving him the chance to do something that he/she has always wanted before you have kids or a job that won’t allow you to take so many days off?
- People who are too obsessive and do not allow their partners to have hobbies that they practice alone. If your husband likes to play softball with friends or your wife enjoys salsa dancing parties, there is nothing wrong with that. You can have hobbies that you do together and hobbies that allow you to have some private space. Believe it or not, having interests which are different from your partner’s can even make your relationship stronger!
If you have another problem which you are willing to discuss with a marriage therapist, you should not be afraid to contact Linda Michels, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist – Couples Counseling right away! I will be glad to consult you and help you understand the source of your problems!